MUST be STRONG!

Let me tell you... giving up sugar is NO easy task for me!!! 
To make it harder... today I have the headache, and the "crashing" begins!  Of course, the day I have TONS to do... because we are in going to be in the parade tonite... my body decides to say..."HEY, screw YOU!!" 
I want to just curl up in bed... and stay there all damn day!!!  BUT... I have dogs to groom today... and make pretty!  And make the final decision on who is walking with us... and who is not...  and who is wearing which costumes! 
I have already had 2 doses of tylenol... and it isnt touching the pounding...which is REALLY pissing me off!!!

I CAN make it through this day!!! YES, I CAN!!!  AND... I WILL make it WITHOUT any caffiene or sugar!!! 

Thank God Stacy only works until 2 today.  I will need some strength from him.  But, I dont think he "gets it" anyway... so, as usual... I will just be on my own.  (Well... not really on my own!  Because I have an amazingly, awesome friend who is doing my 'diet/torture' with me!  Again, dont know what I would do without her!!!)

I sat in bed last nite stressing about the amount of weight they want me to lose.  I dont know if I can do it. 
But, I guess as long as the scale is going down... I am winning the battle. 
I cant believe how much I have slacked over the last few years!  I have NEVER been this heavy... and I use to follow my "heart diet" to the "T"!  What the hell happened to me?!?!?

Stacy picked up the gym schedule for me... I am hoping I can get into a habit of going!  It is just so hard with these "needy" kids of mine!  If I am not here with them at all times... their world goes into a tizzy!
How do I take care of EVERYTHING... and still have the time and energy to take care of mysefl??

Oh a positive note... My car is now fixed (for the most part) and inspected!!  Now, I just need to lift it some... to avoid ripping the exhaust off again.  I even passed emissions... which means the damn "check engine" light managed to stay off long enough!  Wooo Hooo.  I need to fix that O2 sensor issue.  Add it to the list...

Brittany is making everyone shirts for the parade tonite!  They are looking really good so far!!  She is such a crafty one!

Well... I guess I better get to laundry... AND, I have some shop calls to return!  Bring on the dirty dogs!!!  :-)

I will really be happy once all of this CANDY starts to disappear!!!!!!!!  Such TORTURE!  LMAO!

Enjoy this sunny day, everyone!

Ahhhh (A sigh of relief?)

Let me first say that today has been a GREAT day!!  I worked with a sweet little terrier mix this morning... and then finished up Sprocket.

I dont know what happened... but today I feel so relieved!!  I think my "self talk" last nite did the trick!
That... and the fact that the nurse at the cardiologist's office told me that I needed to step away from ALL of the stress IMMEDIATELY!!  (And I have to get back to 140lbs, and cut out ALL sugar, choc, pasta, caffiene... and everything else fun... and get my ass back in the gym doing some low impact excercise...)  My heart is already under stress from my previous surgery and the scar tissue left behind... add the extra weight I have picked up = even more stress on my heart... If I cant get this under control on my own that means more surgery... which means even more scar tissue... which means even more stress on my heart!!  Soooo... it is a nasty little cycle I have gotten myself into!!!
Needless to say... I have removed my head from my ass... and have all intentions of getting this under control... ASAP!

Sprocket is actually TIRED!!!  He had a busy morning...and is now sound asleep on the floor by my feet!  WOW... that is a first!  LOL!

I just called Millersburg Borough... I was told that the parade has been postponed until tomorrow nite.  Which means we will NOT be participating in Millersburg's parade.  Tomorrow we will be in Elizabethville's parade! 
I am going to pester Brittany into making T-Shirts tonite...  and I think we are just going to walk it!  I will brush and blow out my dogs... maybe add some "flare"... and that way we can talk to ppl while we hand out candy!

The past few days have been interesting.  The stress has just been mounding up on me... and I swear, I just couldnt take any more!!
Monday nite Stacy and I had to go over and chit chat with Josh... about my Mom moving up.  He wasnt happy.
My Mom was up yesterday... she checked out the house.  I guess it is all set... she will start moving in the up coming weeks.

I wrote up agreements for everyone to sign.  Had to lay out some "ground rules" to get everyone past the first couple of weeks.  Other than that... I am pretty much done.  They will have to work it all out.  I have done all I can do, at this point.  Everyone has a warm place to sleep at nite!  They will need to either appreciate it... or move on.
 
I REALLY need to get my focus back on my shop... and making it successful!  I also need to get focused on the kids I still have living at home!!  I have been so preoccupied that Nathan and his homework hell has been rushed through all week!  Since ALL of that kind of stuff gets put on me too! (cough, cough... STACY!!!)

Stacy dropped my car off, to get inspected today!  Fingers crossed that it passes!!!  I know the tires where a bit close.
Now if we can just find someone willing to part with some stock CRX springs... life would be good!!  THEN I can drive the darn thing and stop using my truck all the time!!!

I guess this is all I have time for right now.  I have to get started on my to do list.  I have some comfy, fuzzy socks waiting for me!  AND... a ton of laundry.

BRING ON ANOTHER SUNNY DAY!!!

The sun can stay awhile!

I love looking out my windows to see the sun looking back at me!!  We have had so much rain this year... that I havent had the chance to hang out with the sun near enough!
I dont like the fact that our days are getting shorter either!!

I took the kids and 2 of the dogs out for a hike yesterday.  It quickly turned into the hike from hell!!! 
Between stupid ppl... protective dogs... and kids bickering and fighting... It was NOT the relaxation I thought I would get!!!  Next time I need a stress reducing hike... one dog, and no kids will accompany me!

When I got home I started on the weeks meals.  Since this week is FULL of very busy evenings... I wanted to be prepared!  We have 2 parades on our schedule AND we will have to spend tomorrow evening getting everything ready.

Plus...
Stacy and I get to go lay down the law at our old house!
We dont think any one person living there can have things entirely their way!  It just wont work like that.  Josh is going to have to give... as is my Mom!! 
I do NOT feel it is up to Josh to say he is willing to give my Mom 2 bedrooms, and that is it!  Who the hell is he??  And I dont feel my Mom can ask him to get rid of all of this stuff.
AND... I sure as hell feel that NO ONE can really stick their noses in this situation... but those ppl directly involved!!! 

I know that I will NEVER be able to please everyone... I have never been able to please even a few ppl!!  LOL!!  I know that this is really going to split my twisted "family".   I just dont get how everyone can be so mean and nasty to one another and NOT want other to be happy and succeed!  And ppl wonder why I ended up so "off... and why I moved far away.... REALLY?!?!?

So... Stacy and I will be stepping in... and making the decisions on things ppl cant agree on!  AND, if ppl dont like it... they can live elsewhere!  We dont need the bullshit!  My feelings WILL NOT get hurt!  I have taken the emotion out of it all.  Ppl cant hurt me unless I let them... and I WONT let them anymore!

I am really hoping that my shop starts picking up... especially after the up coming parades!  I have HUGE hopes with this!!!

Ok... well... time to clean up the mess left for me after the weekend!  Oh the joys of being a maid... oops... I mean Mom! 

Enjoy the sun!!

Weekends...

It seems as though weekends arent those same, once looked forward to days!  They are equally stressful days... and lately, it is just a time to get more crap done, because we have more hands around here to help with it! 

Yesterday we realized that the truck wont be done for the parades... now, my husband held on to that info for a few hours, before sharing it with me!!  UGH!!  Did he not realize I needed to regroup and form a plan "B"...?!?!?
I already had the start of a plan "B" in my mind... just need to work on some details!! 
Stacy wants to do a full out "float" now... Oh boy... this is gonna be interesting!!! 

I stopped counting the candy pieces!  LMAO... We have TONS stickered... and TONS more to do!  My kiddos have been helping with that... and they are doing a GREAT job!

Yesterday I got an email from the program manager of cheer... apparently a girl had MRSA last week at practice and didnt know it.  THANK GOD my kid was camping last weekend!!!!!! 
I am a bit pissed that we didnt hear about this until yesterday.  It makes it impossible for me to talk to our pediatrician and get his PROFESSIONAL opinion!!  I am sorry, but I am just not trusting what that kids parent is saying... and the fact that no major disinfecting of the gym has happened!!!  PLUS, they said the kid will be back at practice today!!  Ummm... needless to say... my kid wont be!!!!  I did do research online... and I am just not comfortable with it.  I want to talk to Dr Darowish!!

Last nite we went and picked up costumes for the dogs!  AND made it home in time to watch Gnomeo and Juliet!!!  LOVED IT!!!  Tooo damn cute!!!! 

I also realized yesterday that I have some issues to deal with with Gunner!!  He IS a bit over the top aggressive to strangers.  He is very protective... AND he just doesnt know how to say "Hello" in a very nice way.  Sooooo.... that will be our focus in the coming weeks!  Needless to say... he may have to sit out the parades.

Ohhhh... the pool is DOWN!!  And all of that stuff is put away for the winter.  I also put more chairs away from the patio.  We are winding down for the winter!  Next step will be to swap out summer clothes!!  Stacy cleaned out the coal stove yesterday... so it is all ready to be fired up... as soon as we decide it is getting chilly! 

I think that maybe today I will try to get some grooming of our dogs done.  They are a muddy mess!!
And also figure out what my mother wants to do.

But, I guess I should start with BREAKFAST... I am starving!!
I sure do hope the sun sticks around!!!

Frustrated

I am a bit frustrated this morning. 

Once again, I wake up to the weight of the world (OK, well... this house) on my shoulders!!!
If everyone would just DO THEIR PART... I wouldnt have this frustration!!  I really dont ask for much!!
What is even more frustrating... if everyone did do their part... I would have some "free" time to do things I ENJOY!!!  Go freakin figure!! 
Apparently I live with ppl that just cant have me enjoying anything. 

Gunner is STILL a complete mess!!  He is on 2 meds that "SHOULD" knock him out... but they dont even come close!  I am so sick and tired of hearing him whine and cry!!  It is NON STOP!  And if he isnt whining and crying... he is pacing the house or walking in circles!  The more I think about having his elbow surgery... the more I KNOW that will be just pure torture on him... and all of US!! 
He has destroyed his cone collar already...we are on number 2 of that.  He has bent and destroyed his crate... I had to get his head unstuck twice now.  I am not sure how he didnt choke himself to death!!
UUUGGGGHHHHHAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I did manage to get some parade stickers done.  I plan on working on that today.  I know we will need more candy... but, I wanted to see what kind of candy worked out the best before I bought anymore.

I planned a "PARADE SPECIAL"...  anyone hearing about the shop through one of the parades will get $5 off their first grooming appt!  I will put it up on my website over the weekend.  I really hope to have my shop phone ringing and ringing in the next 2-3 weeks!!
I also have to remember to get costumes for my dogs this weekend!!

I have been reminded (thank God for the friend in my life that probably had about the same amount of therapy as I have...lol)...  I need to set limits!!  LIMITS to keep me sane!!!  No matter what anyone else thinks or feels... LIMITS are a good thing!!!  They are NOT a way to get our own way, or be a bully... or anything else I have been told when I set limits.  They are to keep me sane... and healthy!!  Soooo... I have a bunch of limits to set!!

Ya know... my feelings were kinda hurt yesterday.  I need to address that too... because I have really been trying to do good things lately.

Ohhh... Ohhhh... Ohhhh...
Big news--  I have appointments next week!!!  I am loving it!!!  AND... my first training class starts today!!  I am sooooo excited!!!  I LOVE what I do!!! 

Ok... not sure what the weekend will bring, other than more stupid rain.  I may try to get out on Sunday (while Britt is at cheer practice) and get some Fall pictures.  I need to change the pictures in our dining room frame... I am really behind in that, they are still from last summer!! 

Well, I must get moving on putting stickers on candy!  Oh the good times... !!!  LOL!!!  I hope everyone has a good day!!

Just another day is paradise

I have 3...possibly 4 of my kids completely pissed off at me.  Because I am "cracking down" on expectations.  (And if number 4 isnt pissed at me yet... it is still early!!LOL)

I have a completely psycho dog right now.  Gunner is so use to major excercise... and playing.  But now he cant... so he is about as bad as Courtney is with pacing and walking in circles!!!  He is getting into EVERYTHING!  And when I crate him... he howls, cries, screams, and tries to destroy the damn crate!!  I wonder if the Vet will give me tranquilizers for him!!  lol  I feel like I am watching him literally lose his mind.
I cant stand another nite like the past 2! 

Stacy and I ran to walmart last nite... picked up a few things.  (NOT comfy, fuzzy socks... I didnt like their selection).  Then we went for a nice visit with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Keith.  I borrowed some books from her. 
Of course, since we were in Lykens... a trip to DQ was neccessary!!  LOL!!

I am hoping to make some progress on my parade stickers and coupons.  Not sure yet though... I have a dining room that needs some major attention!  I soooo want my house back... I just cant seem to get it done as fast enough... AND... no one helps keep it in order.  So I just get soooo frustrated!! 
UUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHAAAAARRRRGHHHH!!

Not enough of me to go around.
Well, this isnt getting anything done... Finishing up Joyce's message... then getting serious around here!

At what point...

...do you just throw in the towel??

That is basically how I am feeling lately.  Like I said the other day (not sure which one... because they are all running together)... Just when I think we are crawling out from under the bullshit... BAM... something else hits!

I have one week to get shit together for the parades!  One week... and then they start.  Stacy cant get the truck running... and I just dont have the time or patience or whatever you want to call it, to help him with it.  I am soooo on "over load" that... I cant focus on a damn thing!  I know he needs help with the truck... and I just cant seem to spread myself any thinner to help him.
I NEED to get my stickers printed... I NEED to get the candy... I NEED TO MAKE SURE WE ARE IN THESE PARADES... SPREADING THE SHOP NAME!! 
I never made it to the vinyl/sign guy... Not sure if it is too late, or not.  I dont have costumes for my dogs yet. 
I have to make this shop a success.  And this is the PERFECT opportunity to get the name out there!

Gunner kept me up most of the nite.  It seems the pain meds work great and knock him out for the first 5 hours... but after that... he is up whining and crying.  It was a rough one last nite!
This morning wasnt much better.  He had his first feeding... and he isnt very patient as I "prepare" his meals!!!  Have to wet his food, to make is mushy... since his tongue has a boo boo.  Have to add the supplements... and his meds... then top it with a bit of canned puppy food.  To him... it just takes too damn long!  LOL  Poor boy!!

Mom seems to be doing good today.  Her job sounds interesting... LOL!  I think she is moving in the right direction on making decisions for the future.  That is a HUGE relief to me!!! 
My grandparents still SUCK!  But, I wont even go there again.

Let's see...
My children are in for a rude awakening!!  They have pushed me to the point that they just may not like me anymore.  And I am ok with that.  I am tired of giving, giving and giving... and them just expecting, expecting, expecting!  Ummm... they dont appreciate a damn thing... they dont even keep up with their chores.  I am done playing this game.
I just cant keep up with EVERYTHING...   I am at my breaking point.

Another bummer-
I was doing soooo good with my "diet"... and last week it all went to shit! 

MUST PULL IT TOGETHER!!!  MUST PULL IT TOGETHER!!!

Time to clean up more muddy paw prints... because this rain is exactly what we needed!  NOT!!!